Define "chronic" masturbator.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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