WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
