So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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