Your tits are I can't wait for
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
