I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
