His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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