Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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