i permit you to call me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
