my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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