i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
