i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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