We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
