I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
