My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
