I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
