get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
