Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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