had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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