So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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