Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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