You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
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also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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