Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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