I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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