yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
