Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
