I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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