It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
