you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
