My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
