At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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