brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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