If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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