I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
