do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
