All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it hurts more in the daytime
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
