I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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