I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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