remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
