Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize