i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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