i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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