I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
