Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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