he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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