Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
