remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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