i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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