I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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