if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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