You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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