so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
