He asked to "fluff my boner.."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
