I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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