the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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