last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
