he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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